100 Things About Me (26-50)

26. Given my intense, palpable hatred of Ortigas, it’s not surprising that I hate Megamall as well. The place is simply too large for my comfort. I never fail to get lost like a bloody idiot everytime I go to the damn mall. I don’t know where Mega A ends and Mega B begins. And don’t bother asking me about Mega C. It’s hopeless. I can be stupid that way.

27. I’m a kuya’s girl. He became my sole parent when my folks separated and my mom had to go abroad. The man’s a martyr; he was the one who had to deal with my coming-of-age angst, developing breasts and my first monthly period. He is the type of brother whom you can coerce to buy you sanitary napkins at the sari-sari store because you ran out of supplies and you are already menstruating all over the place. When my mom lost her job in the Middle East, it was my brother who supported me all throughout college. Tuition fee in UST even back then, especially for my course, is not exactly cheap. His sacrifice was immense. As far as I’m concerned, my kuya is the best brother in the world. He deserves a monument. This is why I’m more scared of him than I am of my mom. If my kuya tells me to jump off the top of a building, I’d do it, because I’m certain that he installed a safety net for me to land on.

28. My favorite dessert is Blueberry Cheesecake.

29. I can’t eat balut. I just can’t.

30. I had quite a nomadic childhood. Sort of. I was born in Manila, and then spent a considerable part of my young years in Alabang and BF. Alabang Town Center was Alabang Twin Cinema back then, if I’m not mistaken. When unfortunate circumstances forced us to leave the south, we settled again in Manila. I spent my elementary years in Taft Avenue, studied for one year in Quezon City then went back to Manila again. My endless relocating stopped when I entered high school. My brother and I gained control of my grandparents’ house in Malate, and we stayed there until the house was destroyed by a fire sometime in 1998.

31.I have chronic biyahilo. I’m very sensitive to motion, especially when inside vehicles. Everytime I take a cab, jeep or bus, I pray that the driver is not some maniac whose idea of a good time is to step on the breaks every five seconds with all the force he’s got. Because if he is, then I would surely step off the vehicle later on with a roaring headache. This is probably why I haven’t taken road trips or have gone to vacations that much; I may throw up in the middle of the journey. My friends told me to stop being a wuss and start taking Bonamine.

32. I used to sing. Before my voice box turned into the pathetic croaking machine that it is today, I had a crystal-clear voice that can hit the high notes of the Whitneys and Mariahs of the world. I can belt out “One Moment in Time” without any trouble at all. What happened, you may ask. Some traumatic experience in a competition made me stop singing altogether. I ate all the ice cream and ice candy that my teeth could handle and stopped training. Thus, the tragic end of my “singing career”, one that never was.

33. I used to sing in a church choir.

Yeah. You heard that right. Not because I genuinely wanted to ruin a solemn  celebration of God with my horrible croaking, but because some community service requirement forced me to. I was prepared to hate it, but the darnedest thing happened – I actually liked it. Soon, I was singing not only during the morning but also during evenings as well, whenever I can spare time. Now I have to be honest with y’all, lest you think that I’m dishing out a steaming pile of horseshit here. It’s my flirtations with the altar boys that made me stick with it for as long as I did. Hehe.

34. I picked up my first paperback when I was in fifth grade. The book is from the Sweet Valley High series, I forgot the title. Needless to say, I practically became a walking encyclopedia of all things related to Sweet Valley High and Sweet Valley Twins. Back then, I could probably make a diagram of Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield’s relationship with everybody else in the book. The Wakefield twins with their sun-bleached blond hair, size 6 figures and matching lavalier necklaces. Their dad is Ned, who is a lawyer, their mom is Alice, an interior designer and they have a brother named Steven, a law undergrad. They drive a Fiat Spider and their favorite hangout is the Dairy Burger. They go to school with lotsa people, including Lila Fowler and Bruce Patman. Lila is new rich and Bruce is old rich. They can’t stand each other. Lila lives in the Fowler mansion with her dad, George. Bruce drives a black Porsche with a vanity plate 1BRUCE1.

Go ahead, feel free to scrawl NERD across my back. I deserve it.

35. I read Sweet Dreams too. If you are a true scholar of Sweet Dreams novels, you MUST know the answer to: What does P.S. in P.S. I Love You mean? More points for you if you still know the title of the novel that followed this one. Nyahahaha!

36. Other women shop for clothes, shoes and whatnots whenever they are depressed. Me, I go shop for books. My retail therapy involves me going to the nearest Booksale branch in my pambahay outfit and browse the store’s shelves relentlessly for my bargain babies. Secretly, I want to be a mysterious book dealer, just like Olivier Martinez in Unfaithful. Not so secretly, I want Olivier Martinez’ hot Gallic ass.

37. I love pearls, real or fake. I keep several pairs of faux pearl earrings in my jewelry box. I plan to buy a set of ridiculously expensive South Sea pearls for my 30^th birthday.

38. I can hear our bank agent dissolving into fits of uncontrollable laughter now.

39. I’m a cat person. I love all animals actually, but feline creatures have the ability to make me go softie. Seeing a sick, maltreated kitten shivering in the rain is enough to ruin my day. I used to have a puskal named Batman. He died because he got into a fight with a humongous rat. My cat killed the rat alright, but not before the filthy rodent scratched my Batman’s eye with his rabies-filled claws.

40. Question of the day: Am I in love? I don’t know. Not a yes, not a no, not even a maybe. I just don’t know. Denial? Maybe.

41. I was forced to restrict the access to my Friendster profile. Some uber religious relatives in Canada have been checking out my risqué, feeling-bold-star photos, and I don’t like it. They must think I’m living a life of sin. Which is not far from the truth, come to think of it.

42. I think British men are very sexy. Their sense of humor is the best, plus their accent is enough to make my G-strings melt. Bloody hell.

43. I love Spaniards too. Hello, Javier Bardem? I’d let him fuck me in the ass. Heehee.

44. I don’t believe that Brangelina is in Bora right now. Please prove me wrong.

45. My bestfriend’s name is Mona. Nowadays, she spells it as Monna. What’s with the double N, I dunno. Some vanity thing, no doubt. We’ve been buddies ever since high school. A lot of people think that we look alike, although she would always point out that I’m way ahead in the sex appeal department. Now you know why she’s my BFF.

46. I dabbled in theater acting while I was in college. No, I wasn’t part of Teatro Tomasino. Rather, I volunteered my shameless ass whenever there is a class play. When we were tasked to stage Tatarin, a Nick Joaquin classic, I auditioned. The part calls for someone who could portray a sexually-repressed woman who is dying to let it all out. During audition, the actors were asked to produce the best masturbating cries and moans we could muster.

I got the lead role.

47. I wear white clothes only when I’m indoors. My favorite pambahay and sleepwear (next to naked, that is) is a clean, white sando, the kind that you wear under a flimsy school uniform. Everytime I go to a department store, I raid the pre-teens section for those sandos. Yes, I can still squeeze into those tiny underthings, believe it or not.

48. Oh, I was a tomboy back in high school. During the first couple of years, anyway. I gave white roses to a girl because she was so darn pretty. Now I’m hotter than her. Brag, brag, brag.

49. But you know, I don’t really brag that much. It’s not necessary. Other people will do the bragging for me.

50. Are you starting to hate my guts now? Good. Because I don’t care. And remember, there are 50 more left on this list. Suffer.

100 Things About Me

Let’s start with the first 25…

1. I hate confrontations. I’m not the confrontational type, despite my angas attitude. I’d rather seethe or break bottles in private, or with someone I trust.

2. I like smashing/throwing bottles when I’m mad or totally frustrated. It doesn’t have to be a glass bottle; a mineral water bottle will do just fine. But of course, nothing beats the thrill of violence associated with breaking glass bottles into pieces.

3. But this does not mean that I’m a dominantly violent person. Yes, I can be violent, but I throw things only when there is a very valid reason. For example: there is this one time that I saw some naughty messages on my then-boyfriend’s YM…and they were not mine. The unfortunate hombre was not able to come up with a reason good enough to placate my legendary temper, so I gathered all his remote controls and threw them at him and his very expensive Mac desktop. Totally understandable, right?

4. I’m a stickler for privacy. This explains why I choose to live alone. I don’t like people coming over my house unannounced, unless they are close friends of mine. And unless you brought a bag full of money with you, I’d be royally pissed if I see you on my doorstep without me knowing you’ll be dropping by.

5. I’m a book addict. Booksale, Powerbooks and Fully Booked are some of my most favorite places in the world. I prefer to buy books at bargain prices because I’m such a cheapskate. If I can’t find a book at Booksale or those stalls along Recto and University Belt, that’s the only time I will get it at those high-end bookstores. I also love bidding for books on e-Bay.

6. I’m a voracious ukay-ukay shopper. Whatever designer items I have I got from the ukay at prices you’d never imagine. The only thing I won’t buy from those shops is footwear. I like my shoes brand-new, no matter how cheap or expensive, thank you very much.

7. My favorite drinking holes are Anthology Bar and Blue Room, both in Malate. An ice-cold bottle of Red Horse is my favorite poison.

8. I love swearing. It’s an outlet. And I don’t care if you think that’s disgusting. Fuck you.

9. I can drink tap water and survive. I will resort to drinking mineral water only if the liquid that is coming out of the faucet has a suspicious-looking color.

10. I love aviator sunglasses, no matter what brand. This is the only type of shades that I’ll wear. None of those oversized I-look-like-a-giant-bug pair of shades for me. I’m praying that some generous soul will give me a pair of Ray-Ban aviators for my birthday. Hehe.

11. I’m a closet Britney Spears fan. I dance to “I’m a Slave for You” when I’m home alone, complete with the hand-twirling bit. And I never get tired of watching her performance of “Baby, One More Time” during her Las Vegas concert, the one where she danced in the rain. It’s the sexiest Britney Spears performance I’ve ever seen. I love it to death.

12. I’m a proud Guns n’ Roses fan. Of course, I’m referring to the original band. Back in high school, I’d scrimp on recess and lunch money just to save enough to buy the Use Your Illusion cassette tapes. Yes, cassette tapes. I’m one of those stupid fools who placed a mirror beside the album cover to see if there is a picture of the devil cleverly hidden within the blue and orange portraits. I wore cycling shorts and a bandanna across my forehead because I wanna be Axl. I strummed our pitiful walis tambo because I wanna be Slash. I was THAT crazy.

13. I can never have enough black tank tops. I can wear them everyday for the rest of my life.

14. I can be very frugal. When you’re writing for a living and you have to support your mom, yourself and whatever vices you have, it’s only natural.

15. I eat like a man, especially when served with my mother’s cooking. Place a bowl of hot and spicy sinigang on the table and I will eat a minimum of two plates of rice in one sitting. I can eat sinigang everyday for the rest of my life.

16. The best way to my heart is through my stomach. I had a boyfriend who loves taking me out for breakfast, lunch or dinner. He would cook for me whenever I’m staying over at his pad. He made it his responsibility to fatten me up and make sure I eat right to put some meat on my slender bones. I loved that.

17. I hate Ortigas, as in I really hate the place. Ortigas is hell for commuters, especially if you work in the area. I’ve worked at Tektite for a couple of months and I loathed every minute of it. Recently, I’ve had several job offers from there, all promising attractive remuneration. I turned them down as soon as I learned they are located at motherfucking Ortigas.

18. I love fucking. C’mon, who doesn’t?

19. I have moles in um, strategic parts of my body. The biggest one is somewhere down there and it’s kinda hard to miss. If a lover doesn’t know where they are, then he really doesn’t know me. But then again, I don’t normally fuck with the lights on or in broad daylight, so maybe there’s an excuse.

20. I like kissing girls, especially very pretty girls. For me, that Katy Perry song is so ten years ago.

21. I’ve had sex with a woman and it felt really nice. This does not prove that I’m a lesbian, or a bisexual. This just proves that I love to experiment.

22. I only had a couple of boyfriends in my 28 years of existence. I know this is fairly surprising, considering my so-called “experience,” but it’s true. Lovers, (remember that I’m using the term in the most general sense) I’ve had plenty, but boyfriends? Probably because I consider relationships as a serious matter. Or maybe I’m just hopelessly repulsive, I don’t know. I take relationships seriously. When I’m in a commitment or just plain head over feet in love with someone, I give whatever I can give. I make effort. I try to make him the happiest bastard on Earth. I love to fuss over my man. Maybe that’s why I’m choosy.

23. Another surprising fact: I’m truly a monogamous person. Really. If can I find somebody that I’m totally compatible with sexually, I can forget about sleeping with other men. No matter what the setup is.

24. I have a hopeless habit of denial everytime I fall in love. Some deeply ingrained pride refuses to believe that I have actually fallen for someone like a ton of bricks. I try to fight it until it becomes obvious that I’m just wasting my time denying it. Then I exercise the most extreme act of cowardice: disappear on the unsuspecting guy. I do that because I’m chickenshit.

25. I don’t like faking orgasms. It’s stupid and pointless. It’s totally unnecessary. If he can’t make me cum, then he can’t make me cum, period. I’d rather teach him how to satisfy me than make him think he is fucking Casanova. I’m with the guys here – I would be hurt if you try to fake an orgasm with me, if that’s actually possible.

Book Lust: SLASH

Wow. It’s been what, almost 3 months? I’ve been that busy, eh? Aside from trying to make enough dough to pay the bills and catching up on my reading, I’ve been occupied with loads of personal issues (read: emo) which I find hard to blog about, probably because the people involved are the ones who read my blog regularly and…you know how it is. For the first time in several years, I just don’t know what to say. Seems to me that I’ve run out of steam, but no. There IS a lot of steam inside me, I just don’t know how to fart it out. Haha.

Or maybe I just don’t have enough time, hm?

Anyway, speaking of reading….

I. WANT. THIS. BOOK. I’m a die-hard Guns ‘n Roses fan (the old band) and Saul Hudson is practically a deity to me. I don’t care if he wears that top hat for all eternity or keep those unruly probably-infested-with-lice curls for the rest of his life, I don’t give a shit. Slash is god. And no amount of bashing from heavily botoxed Axl or that emaciated druggie from STP can convince me otherwise.